Life is an Adventure: So this is Goodbye

Wow. I'm leaving. tomorrow morning. and when I come back, it won't be 2007 anymore. I mean this has been the year I've been looking forward to for the past 5 or so year. And it was well worth it. This will be a sad goodbye...
Nicaragua promises to be an adventure. I'm not allowed to bring my computer, but I'm hoping to have internet access to update this and to check Facebook lol. And that all depends on whether or not we have electricity. I'll keep a hard copy journal and transfer it here whenever I get the chance. Ten days. Christmas AND New Years. Its our first time ever taking a direct flight and I'm SUPER excited. There might be a movie... and lunch! It's only supposed to take about 3 hours... leaving at 10 getting there around 1. But of course we have to leave the house by 6. The airport will be a mess and we have a lot of suitcases.
We got to open one present today. I actually opened two because I already knew what one was. But this one was like Chelsea's duck key chain flashlight. Except mine is a cow that moos very very loudly when you turn it on. I might just have found a better alternative to using my cell phone to see in the dark.
This week went by so fast. For 2 or 3 days I didn't even really get dressed. Got to hang out with some friends. Got see Coach Wall and Ms. Smith. Slept a lot. Ate out a lot lol. On Wednesday I went to Theresa's grandpa's funeral which was very beautifully done. I really wish I could have known him, he seemed like an amazing person. The priest said:

When you close the eyes of the dead, you open the eyes of those still living

And thats really how I feel about the whole funeral/death thing. My thoughts are extremely provoked at funerals. The only funerals I've ever been too, the people didn't become alive to me until after they were dead. I mean I knew of them, I knew they existed. But I had never met them, never seen them; I had no idea what they were like until I heard their loved ones talk about them. And when that happens you start wondering if you've lived a good enough life to have people talk about you like that.
And it really makes me think about all the times I wish I could just die. And how if I had died at that moment, all the things I would have missed out on. I do not fear death; I think the people who have died are very lucky. But I certainly do appreciate life. Well I appreciate the idea, but now I realize... I don't think I appreciate life to its fullest extent. I've wasted a lot of my life. There are things that I haven't done that I should have and I'm wondering what I'm waiting for. Why don't I have dreams and goals to get the most out of life? I need to stop being here for the ride and not be afraid to be outside the box, to sing out of key, or to question things. Maybe that's why I haven't died yet. I haven't done anything worthwhile.
So as a New Year's resolution, I will be more about life. All forward motion counts.

Death cannot be seen as the easy way out; life is the most exciting challenge to take on.