A New Year

365 days ago I was in Nicaragua listening to the mass chaos that's new years there. We were upset last year that it didn't quite feel like the holidays, but this year wasn't much different lol. Not in a bad way though, I've really enjoyed celebrating Christmas and New Years from a different perspective.
This year was about as hot as last lol. But at least we also had our cold; it flipped flopped from extremes. It was nice being able to enjoy Christmas mass, spending time with friends, and seeing all of the decorations.
Being at college makes the Holidays come up unexpectedly and the economic slump didn't help either. I felt like I didn't have money to spend on gifts. Most people don't know, but my dad has been without a job since last spring. Even though we're doing fine, and my mom has a great new job, we've still had to cut back. Luckily even with little, we're good at making a lot. We bought a great new car for my mom since she crashed the Camery. My family bonded over the Wii, and my mom did a great scavenger hunt for us on Christmas morning to make opening presents more fun since we had picked everything out.
And now I'm spending New Years with my friends and can't wait for what's in store in 2009. I survived a rough year which gives me confidence that I can make it through next year.
I hope everyone ends this year a little more wiser and starts off the new year on the right foot :)

Life @ Nov. 25

In the month of November I:

• Voted
• Made good grades on my tests
• Went on a Saturday getaway to North Georgia with the girls
• Turned 20
• Made a kick ass powerpoint
• Got closer to God
• Knit something other than a scarf
• Got my first caricature made
• Rubbed elbows with the agriculture elite
• Hiked 5 miles (and survived)
• Woke up at 6am so I could go to work with mom
• Applied for a credit card
• Applied for a loan

So I guess you could say I'm moving up in the world haha. I can't wait to study abroad and I am itching to get an internship. I'm getting close to publishing my first website/blog (more to come later). I'm trying to stay afloat in English with a poetry collection and portfolio due next week, so I wrote a terrible poem today:

"Apples"
My tree has a sturdy trunk
With two thick branches,
Loaded with sweet red apples.
Half taste Nicaraguan, half Puerto Rican.

Tree always growing, apples keep coming:
8 big apples 13 medium apples 2 little apples
7 big apples 15 medium apples 9 little apples
More than plenty for apple pie.

My apple family of 5 is tiny in these branches,
But it is just the right size.
It joins two families together
Creating this one big tree.

When we all come together,
Don't expect a normal family gathering.
It’s a party, an overwhelming celebration
With food, laughter, and dancing!

My poetry collection is on family trees and she said it would be good to have a poem you wrote yourself so why not. I hate myself for writing corny poetry...

Thanksgiving is coming up and then November is over and then 2008 is over. Where does the time go?

San Francisco

I was thinking today about the trip I took to San Francisco last month and really it was like celebrating 2 centuries of being alive.
I was actually born in San Francisco (well really Santa Clara if we're going to get specific) 20 years ago and moved away after the earthquake in '89. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to go back and see what this place was like. This was such a big dream for me that I couldn't say no when the opportunity came up.
Unfortunately I built high expectations for myself. Its not really that great of a place other than to say you've been there. I wouldn't want to live there. While I was there I didn't really enjoy it. But looking back on it, it was a great trip. I think what really made it worth it was seeing the Golden Gate Bridge. I got chills.
So after being gone for 20 years, I went back and saw the places my parent's talked about. And I did it all on my own... well mostly. It was my first big adventure without adults really (although the Savannah trip comes pretty close). Even though it sucked having to pay for it on my own, the trip was that much more mine.
So giving myself a 400$ birthday present to see the state I was born in on my 20th anniversary of being alive was totally worth it.

As a side not I learned the most crazy thing today. Monkeys open their bananas from the opposite end then us. Its actually quite effective. View the instructional video for more details!

3 things I learned about Arizona in San Francisco

1. Arizona has Agriculture

Who would have thought stuff (other than cactus) would grow in the desert? Turns out Arizona isn't all rock and sand... some parts even have forests. It has the perfect climate for growing cotton and citrus. I have a feeling this has a terrible impact on whatever river they are irrigating from.

2. Road Runners Exist

The Arizona gal couldn't believe our amazement at such an animal being real. What she failed to tell us is that they don't look like the cartoon. They are short fat birds that run across the road really fast. She says you barely ever find them as road kill. Also, contrary to belief... these birds do not go BEEP BEEP!

3. Scorpions are Everywhere

While Scorpions and Arizona go hand and hand in my mind, I didn't realize how invasive they were. Apparently Scorpions just LOVE making homes out of piles of clothes you left on the floor. I feel that I would have a big scorpion problem seeing as I leave clothes on the floor 90% of the time. I guess I would just have to get really good at shaking them out. Supposedly you can get more than one to hide out in there. And they're also pretty good about hiding out in your shoes so check those before putting them on too.

My Hat, It has 3 Corners

I was recently in need of a hat, but I didn't have one with me at college and didn't want to buy one. Therefore, I came up with THE GREAT NEWSPAPER HAT INITIATIVE and made one myself out of newspaper.
As Alyssa can attest, this made my side of the room look like a newspaper bomb had exploded. Overall it was WAY fun. Much more fun than doing homework too. Not only did I learn how to make the traditional 3 corner type, but several other less known types as well. So if you ever need a hat made out of newspapers, you know who to call! Because trust me, I'm a pro :P

Penises

What would the world be like if men didn't have penises? In my bird class that I'm taking this semester we learned that only 4% of birds have penises. For most birds all sex requires is a quick touch of the butt. The only way to really justify carrying around the extra weight of a penis is for water birds who would need to get sperm further in so it wouldn't wash off in the water. Other birds that have penises are ratites which include larger birds like ostriches, emus and rheas.
Since birds don't have penises, the female is the one that gets to wear the pants in the relationship. If a male wants to produce offspring, he has to put 100% into attracting a female. He can't just walk up and "rape." If a female doesn't want her offspring to have a certain male's dna, she doesn't have to mate with him. Some birds can even reject unwanted sperm. But if a penis was used, she'd be stuck with the sperm.
Interestingly enough, ostriches, which have penises, have male dominance unlike these other birds. Even though the male still has to court the females, the relationship is much more of the patriarchal variety. So I have to wonder... is this why most human societies are dominated by males? Because they wear the penis? What would life be like if guys didn't have penises? I mean other than what sex would be like lol.
This article I found while writing this post goes much more into detail about bird sex and penises. Its based around the idea of why Zeus chose to be a swan to rape Leda. I would highly recommend checking it out.

Bottom line: Penises are dangerous.

Things That Were Cool When I was a Kid

Okay granted, that wasn't that long ago. I haven't ridden a bicycle in oh... probably 8 years, but walking around campus today and seeing all the bikes, I suddenly had nostalgia of being a kid and riding my bike around the street. Riding your bike around was like "the cool thing to do." And not just because it was the environmentally friendly thing to do. So today I want to look at things that made bikes, or in particular my bike, cool.

The Kickstand

Why were kickstands so cool? I don't know. Maybe it was because of the cool way it folded/swiveled up or down at a moments notice. Maybe it was because of the way it got your bike to stand up all by itself. All I know is that whomever invented the kickstand is a genius! I was sad to notice today that not many people have kickstands on their bicycles because kickstands=kickass!
Sidenote: I actually looked up to see who invented the kickstand and it is a certain "Gunter Baron." Tragically, he does not have a wikipedia page. Did you know that kickstands were patented in 1983?

Pedaling Your Bike Upsidedown

I don't know if anyone else used to do this, but it was a big thing on my street to turn our bikes over and "play mechanic." All it really involved was turning the pedals and watching the wheels go around and maybe pretend you were 'fixing' your bike. Some times we would race to see how fast we could make our wheels go. It was such a cool concept to me that you could flip a bike so that its wheels were in the air, that I wished there was more you could do like play fort or pretend it was "an exercise" machine. Here is a better picture that illustrates what I mean by this.

Spoke Beads

I wish I could remember what I called these as a kid, but I never would have thought to call them spoke beads. I just know my neighbor had some on her bike, and I had to get me some! I loved the colors, but even more than that, I loved the sound. A light, tinkling musical sound that gives you the same shivers as listening to a rain stick. This was another reason to pedal your bike upside down... just so you could listen to these babies. I haven't seen them on a bike in ages, but I'm pretty sure you can still buy them.

Noise Makers

I think I went through at least two of these, but they were plastic (and colorful) of course. I feel that they didn't last very long due to bike and ground contact. Plus I feel like I wasn't very good at steering and honking at the same time. I also had at least one bell, with which I faced similar problems with (I think it involves more skill to push the lever than to squeeze):



So I hope you have enjoyed reminiscing with me over the "bike riding days." If I ever get a bicycle, now that I'm older, this is one accessory I would definitely love to have:


What are you favorite bicycle parts-- past, present, future?

If I was a super crafter...

I would definitely make this:
cute tote here










I think I would use a less busy pattern for the inside but I LOVVVVVVE the internal organization which is key for me in any purse. This bag is so well made! I really hope she puts a tutorial up that way I can get someone to make it for me haha.

Greenwashing

In case you haven't noticed, Americans are suddenly becoming "Eco-conscious." A couple weeks ago, Audrey and I were shopping at Heritage 1981, and she asked me how I felt about this green/organic movement. Even though I am glad that people are being more excited to save Mother Earth, its a bit ridiculous how much of a fad it is. For example, this particular store (and if you go to the website you can see) sells an overwhelming amount of merchandise that has sayings like "save the whales!" "conserve water!" "recycle" at too high a price (in my opinion). First of all... unless these shirts are made from "organic cotton" or whatever, I'm not convinced. For all we know, some kid in a sweatshop made that shirt. Second, instead of paying $20 for a t-shirt... shouldn't you be donating that money to an organization that represents your cause? wouldn't that be more proactive? Because if not I feel like you have to have money to be green, and I just don't think the hippies would approve. Even though I'm not vegetarian, there was one shirt though that I liked: "I was a vegetarian before it was cool."
It makes me feel a little queasy when people are so into organic stuff. I feel like people are kind of snobbish about it. It's not necessarily healthier... its going to have the same nutritional value, and you'd have to be extra careful to wash it, more so than with pesticides. I have a hard time believing that people will pay more for "organic" things when non-organic is just as good. $3 for organic spaghetti? no thanks. There really is no definition for "natural", so even if it says it is... it may not be as natural as you think. I did see the practicality of this health tip however: buy organic produce that is normally heavilly sprayed with pesticides such as peaches or strawberries. I realize that pesticides ruin the environment and have a huge affect on pollinators such as bees. So shouldn't we be pushing for more environmentally safe practices? Believe it or not, farmers are great environmentalists, but they do the best they can with what they have, so we can't blame them... pesticide use is the consumer's fault.
But back to the title of this post... I was randomly watching this thing on youtube and it mentioned this article about Barbie and Mattel "going green." It made a good point... how can Barbie be so green, when she's SO plastic?! I grew up on Barbies and hate to admit that Mattel is completely raping the consumer here. This comment sums it up best: The lengths companies will go to in order to try and dupe the general public. Seriously, the only ones buying this are the same people buying the earth day walmart shirts that say “Save the People”. Wait, that is probably a lot of people. I guess this is sad then? Now I am angry!
Well basically it used a word I had never heard before-- GREENWASHING. Naturally there is a whole wikipedia article on it and here is how it is defined:

Greenwash (a portmanteau of green and whitewash) is a term that is used to describe the act of misleading consumers regarding the environmental practices of a company or the environmental benefits of a product or service.

I love that there is even a word for this! The things companies will do to try to appear "green" for the sake of attracting consumers is outrageous. 100 years from now students in high school US History will have this in their "terminology to know from the early 21st century." Or I hope so anyway cause that would be cool. To have a word like "greenwash" up there with yellow journalism or McCarthyism? Its just another thing to make us more conscientious of what (and who) to really believe. To never accept anything as truth.
Audrey agreed that this greenism was a fad, but she also suggested that maybe it was a fad that would stick around and some good might actually come out of it. I sure hope so... because when people are doing things just because everyone else is doing it, i am secretly compelled to do the opposite. If I had more faith in the consumer not believing everything they are told, maybe I wouldn't be so anti green.
So the next time you feel the urge to "save the environment", stop and think. Are there better ways to be proactive? Am I being greenwashed? How organic is organic? Am I only being green in one part of my life or in all? (Not because you should do all or nothing, but because you should brainstorm on what else you can do) There are a lot more ways to get involved than buying a bag that says "I love the earth."

Revelations

I have had so much to think about and not enough time to blog. I can't wait until this summer when I will actually have time to put my thoughts into words. For the first time in my life, I am challenging and questioning things. Opening myself up to the world and all of its problems. Sure its bringing me to a lot of depression and uncertainty, but it's also making me more self aware and letting me try my hand at facing the world instead of running away from it or leaving it for someone else to take care of. College truly makes one more liberal.
State Convention is this week and while at first I thought it would be a terrible idea to miss a Thursday, I am really excited about getting to go and compete. I realize that I need to have goals in my life. I need something to add meaning and give me a purpose. Have something to work towards. Not that I don't have goals... they're just so far off in the future that it's hard to put them into perspective sometimes.
I love this feeling. it truly feels like being alive. i guess its the things worth living for in life that give it meaning.
and the weather has been so good. it really makes a difference.
i am ready for class to be over. and summer. and new opportunities. and freedom.

College?

I have not made a new post in forever. college is taking over my life and not in a good way. This semester is not what I ever expected college to be like nor what I want it to be. Never in my life have I studied so hard but done so poorly. What the heck? Don't I get a break? Isn't it a good thing that I chose to go into higher education? Am I really paying $14,000 a year to be miserable? If I was worried about keeping Hope last semester I am 100% more worried about it this semester. Taking 16 hours was a terrible idea. I want to be involved and successful and make differences in the world, not feel discouraged and overwhelmed and questioning my motives and purpose. I'm starting to feel like one in a million... lost in a swamp of swampiness. Is this what it's going to feel like in the real world? Like I can't accomplish anything?
How is it that people know so many people here? and that when they say hey to each other its because they're good friends not awkward acquaintances? Do I need to start getting drunk? I feel like I don't smile anymore and that people (especially on my hall) don't really want to get to know me because I'm probably a bitch. I don't really have time to be there friend anyway. I feel like I don't have time to do anything.
I don't know if it's because last semester was so good, but this has been the worst semester ever. I only hope to end it on a high note. I am a successful person at a prestigious university with goals and aspirations. Why am I getting so down on myself? Why can't I be the optimist? Everyone has at least one rough semester, right? And as long as I have above a 3.0, who cares about my gpa? Why be worried about the future when I could be having fun RIGHT now?
urgh I hate college.

Question

If you had to pick 10 other people to live with you on the moon, who would they be?

Luna Gaia

What is Hunger?

A strong desire or need for food.
I experienced "hunger" today. I fasted for the first time ever... even though I guess I should have fasted last year (oops). I do admit that I had a cracker here and there, but in my defense I did not want to pass out. Even then though, to think back and say "I only ate a couple crackers? in 24 hours? and that was it?" is super crazy to think about. How do you go from eating 3 meals a day and still being hungry to practically not eating anything at all?
The funny thing about fasting is that you choose to be hungry. you have access to an unlimited supply of food and you just say no to it. Instead of saying "this is so stupid why don't I just eat already" you just kept doing it. and then after a while you can't just call it off because you've come so far. I know the idea of fasting is so that you think about other things instead of stuff like food, but when you can't have it... thats allllll you think about. Maybe next time I'll be better at it. There's always that dull ache in your stomach thats usually the signal to eat but instead of saying "oh I'll just eat" you have to remind yourself that you can't. There's always that voice saying eatEatEAT! but then you challenge yourself to question if you really are hungry.
A problem I definitely ran into was the fact that not eating made me sleepy. And I couldn't sleep because I gave up napping for Lent (yeah we'll see how that goes). Talk about poor decisions. Sleeping really could have helped pass the time.
I also really got to think about what the ashes of Ash Wednesday mean. Its to remind you that somethings that you get overly swamped in, don't really matter because eventually all they will become is ashes.
It was also really fun to go to the BREAK-fast. not only were we eating breakfast, but we were breaking our fast. The last hour before getting to eat was the worst. It was really nice to be in a room full of people though who were going through the same thing you were, who were just as hungry as you and just as ready to eat. When midnight finally came I put so many amazing things on my plate I didn't think I was going to be able to eat it all, but somehow I did and it was all super amazing. Flavor was suddenly intensified and nothing tasted bad. It was an amazing feeling to be able to put food in your mouth. To not have to stop yourself.
But to think that some people are hungry every day and don't have a choice in it. to know that midnight will come and there still won't be food. that when they do get food, every bite is savored. to have to live with telling your stomach "oh I don't really feel that hungry" even when the ache is there. How do they do that? And even when you do have a choice how do you make it for so long? I mean Gandhi was hardcore... I read an article in Glamour about this guy who tried to be anorexic to understand his wife-- it really does take a lot of will power to go against the natural instinct of your body.
This is just a start in the journey of Lent. 40 more days to go. I can only pray to God that I will be strong and not be led into temptation.

I miss you baby

Awwww Freddie! I wish I still had her :(
yeah not the best pic of me lol

Words can't Describe

Life After People makes Life Feel Meaningless

So tonight we watched the History Channel's "Life After People." To sum it up, humans mysteriously disappear and then they show what would become of the world after we're gone. After 10,000 years, there will barely be any evidence we were here. All of our history and culture will seem like it never even happened because there won't be a record of it. The Earth will continue to live on without us and not even miss our presence. Depressing? oh yes.
But then the show goes on to essentially say that there probably won't even be an intelligent enough life form to discuss or wonder the few things that do remain.
So after watching this two hour long program one begins to wonder what the point is. What is the point of achievement if 200 years after we're gone it won't even matter anymore? What is the point of storing information electronically or on paper if stone is really the only thing that will last? But should we be concerned in leaving a trace of our existence if no one will care anyway?
It's interesting to see what drives civilization and how one day none of it will even matter.

Home

Being in Nicaragua really made me miss home. I constantly had this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that made me wish I was not there. Even though I was in a house with all of my family, something was still missing.
Seeing Georgia from the sky was almost magical. You could see all of the cities with their lights sparkling in the dark. And when we landed in Atlanta it felt so good. It just felt like home. I realized how much I love Georgia.
It's been kind of a weird year because I mean what is home? Woodstock? Athens? When I'm in Athens I miss Woodstock and when I'm in Woodstock I miss Athens. Is there no happy medium? Maybe home really is where the heart is.
I went to an amazing Wind Ensemble concert by UGA last night and it was probably one of the best performances I had heard in a long time. And sitting there listening, I felt at home. It was like embracing a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and hadn't realize how much I actually missed them.
Since I've been back, I've had this feeling of missing someone but I can't figure out who it is. I feel like I miss someone I haven't even met yet. How is that even possible?
And as strange as it may seem... It feels good to sleep in my loft again- I missed it.

¡Feliz Años Neuvo!

2007 is officially over. It was the craziest New Yars Eve I have ever had. They had bought a pig, killed it, and roasted it for a New Years Eve feast and it was pretty good. Cooking it was an adventure because it rained and they had to run to get it covered. then they tried hooking it up to an engine so it would turn by itself but it would go waaaay to fast. the pig was flopping everywhere apparently. So then they just would turn it on and off really fast so that it would turn little by little.

I went on adventure around the farm to take pictures. It was good to be by myself. I finished all the books I brought so now all I have left to do is knitting. I didn´t think I´d be running out of stuff to do! We ended up going to Managua to go to the market there. We stuffed 11 people in one car. My 2 uncles sat in the front and then my mom sat on a cushion in between them. Then my aunt, my cousin, and my cousin´s mother in law sat in the back seat. Then my 2 cousins, my cousin´s friend, my cousin´s wife, and me all sat in the trunk. When we got there it was closing in 30 minutes so we had to shop kind of fast but I wasn´t looking for much. There was this little kid who kept following us around asking for money and when you´d give him money hoping he´d go away, he just clung on even more. Trying to leave was terrible. On the way back we decided to stop on the side of the road a couple of times to buy fireworks.... the last time they turned the car off and when they got back in to turn it on it wouldn´t start. So the guys got out and started pushing the car and trying to turn it on as they went but they just ended up causing a huge traffic jam. We weren´t to far away from the house but it was too far to walk. By some stroke of luck they finall got the car started, we all hopped back in all smushed, and then made it home lol.

At night, the party really began. It´s a Nicaraguan tradition or something to get dressed up so it´s sort of like Halloween. Everyone had wigs or masks... my Uncle was Frankenstein and my Aunt was Charlie Chaplin lol. Then we had a crazy dance party. And I got Melisa to do the Soulja Boy dance with me which I was surprised that no one else knew it. Then we decided to do fireworks which was a bad idea because two of my littlest boy cousins are too crazy and it was scary to be around them. Even putting a sparkler into their hands was risking your life... or at least your eye. The adults had bigger fireworks but they kept doing them wrong so that they would explode in the ground instead of the air which was essentially creating a bomb. They had really loud fire crackers too. No where outside was safe because in front of you there were bombs and behind you there were flying fire things. I wanted to go inside but they had some more globos to do so I wanted to see that. We counted down to 12 midnight eastern time (according to my watch). It was weird not watching any sort of ball drop. And then it was annoying to realize we still had one more hour to go. Everyone was ready to go to sleep too. And then finally it was OUR midnight but the way we celebrated it felt so unofficial. Like which clock are you supposed to go by if the you don´t have the tv to tell you? Most of the clocks still had 4 minutes to go and we were like whaaat? but once everyone started wishing eachother a happy new year, there was no stopping. Then just like for Christmas the torrential sound of fireworks began. And then it was over. 2008. I never wanted 2007 to end. I guess it was only right to end an eventful year in an eventful way.

And as far as a New Year´s resolution... I´ve never been one to make them because they seem pointless. But this time I resolve to hate boys. And be suspicious towards every single one. Its not permanant, but its a good idea for now. I´ve found that making eye contact can be dangerous. And I realize that it´s silly to try to get others to like you... you should make them work for it.

My aunt left and instantly there was war on my room. It makes me so angry that everyone feels like they can treat my room like the living room just because it has the tv and the computer. We went to my uncle´s house in Managua and practically spent the whole day there. We had really good soup and shared lots of stories. I got a lot of knitting done but I´m running out of yarn so I won´t be able to finish until I get back.

I´m going home tomorrow and I´m so excited. I´m not sure how we´re all getting to the airport because pretty much everyone is leaving, but I can´t wait to be on an airplane back to my own room, my own computer, and even yes-- cold weather. Dad says that when we get back we are SO going out for a good dinner at a restaurant. The only thing I´m sad about is the fact that I don´t have much of a break left. I´m excited about the reunion party and getting to see everyone and hopefully getting to Matthew sometime this week too.

The UGA game is going down today and I am pumped. At 7:30 you better bet the tv is going to be on trying to find which channel the game is on. I´m wearing my favorite UGA shirt today in honor of the occassion. I just have to find myself something to do until then lol.