Revelations

I have had so much to think about and not enough time to blog. I can't wait until this summer when I will actually have time to put my thoughts into words. For the first time in my life, I am challenging and questioning things. Opening myself up to the world and all of its problems. Sure its bringing me to a lot of depression and uncertainty, but it's also making me more self aware and letting me try my hand at facing the world instead of running away from it or leaving it for someone else to take care of. College truly makes one more liberal.
State Convention is this week and while at first I thought it would be a terrible idea to miss a Thursday, I am really excited about getting to go and compete. I realize that I need to have goals in my life. I need something to add meaning and give me a purpose. Have something to work towards. Not that I don't have goals... they're just so far off in the future that it's hard to put them into perspective sometimes.
I love this feeling. it truly feels like being alive. i guess its the things worth living for in life that give it meaning.
and the weather has been so good. it really makes a difference.
i am ready for class to be over. and summer. and new opportunities. and freedom.