What is Hunger?

A strong desire or need for food.
I experienced "hunger" today. I fasted for the first time ever... even though I guess I should have fasted last year (oops). I do admit that I had a cracker here and there, but in my defense I did not want to pass out. Even then though, to think back and say "I only ate a couple crackers? in 24 hours? and that was it?" is super crazy to think about. How do you go from eating 3 meals a day and still being hungry to practically not eating anything at all?
The funny thing about fasting is that you choose to be hungry. you have access to an unlimited supply of food and you just say no to it. Instead of saying "this is so stupid why don't I just eat already" you just kept doing it. and then after a while you can't just call it off because you've come so far. I know the idea of fasting is so that you think about other things instead of stuff like food, but when you can't have it... thats allllll you think about. Maybe next time I'll be better at it. There's always that dull ache in your stomach thats usually the signal to eat but instead of saying "oh I'll just eat" you have to remind yourself that you can't. There's always that voice saying eatEatEAT! but then you challenge yourself to question if you really are hungry.
A problem I definitely ran into was the fact that not eating made me sleepy. And I couldn't sleep because I gave up napping for Lent (yeah we'll see how that goes). Talk about poor decisions. Sleeping really could have helped pass the time.
I also really got to think about what the ashes of Ash Wednesday mean. Its to remind you that somethings that you get overly swamped in, don't really matter because eventually all they will become is ashes.
It was also really fun to go to the BREAK-fast. not only were we eating breakfast, but we were breaking our fast. The last hour before getting to eat was the worst. It was really nice to be in a room full of people though who were going through the same thing you were, who were just as hungry as you and just as ready to eat. When midnight finally came I put so many amazing things on my plate I didn't think I was going to be able to eat it all, but somehow I did and it was all super amazing. Flavor was suddenly intensified and nothing tasted bad. It was an amazing feeling to be able to put food in your mouth. To not have to stop yourself.
But to think that some people are hungry every day and don't have a choice in it. to know that midnight will come and there still won't be food. that when they do get food, every bite is savored. to have to live with telling your stomach "oh I don't really feel that hungry" even when the ache is there. How do they do that? And even when you do have a choice how do you make it for so long? I mean Gandhi was hardcore... I read an article in Glamour about this guy who tried to be anorexic to understand his wife-- it really does take a lot of will power to go against the natural instinct of your body.
This is just a start in the journey of Lent. 40 more days to go. I can only pray to God that I will be strong and not be led into temptation.

Life After People makes Life Feel Meaningless

So tonight we watched the History Channel's "Life After People." To sum it up, humans mysteriously disappear and then they show what would become of the world after we're gone. After 10,000 years, there will barely be any evidence we were here. All of our history and culture will seem like it never even happened because there won't be a record of it. The Earth will continue to live on without us and not even miss our presence. Depressing? oh yes.
But then the show goes on to essentially say that there probably won't even be an intelligent enough life form to discuss or wonder the few things that do remain.
So after watching this two hour long program one begins to wonder what the point is. What is the point of achievement if 200 years after we're gone it won't even matter anymore? What is the point of storing information electronically or on paper if stone is really the only thing that will last? But should we be concerned in leaving a trace of our existence if no one will care anyway?
It's interesting to see what drives civilization and how one day none of it will even matter.

Home

Being in Nicaragua really made me miss home. I constantly had this uncomfortable feeling in my stomach that made me wish I was not there. Even though I was in a house with all of my family, something was still missing.
Seeing Georgia from the sky was almost magical. You could see all of the cities with their lights sparkling in the dark. And when we landed in Atlanta it felt so good. It just felt like home. I realized how much I love Georgia.
It's been kind of a weird year because I mean what is home? Woodstock? Athens? When I'm in Athens I miss Woodstock and when I'm in Woodstock I miss Athens. Is there no happy medium? Maybe home really is where the heart is.
I went to an amazing Wind Ensemble concert by UGA last night and it was probably one of the best performances I had heard in a long time. And sitting there listening, I felt at home. It was like embracing a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and hadn't realize how much I actually missed them.
Since I've been back, I've had this feeling of missing someone but I can't figure out who it is. I feel like I miss someone I haven't even met yet. How is that even possible?
And as strange as it may seem... It feels good to sleep in my loft again- I missed it.

A Successful Start

I can officially say that I survived my first semester of UGA. I really am proud to go there and I love it. Finals week was a HUGE success... I ended up with an A in all of my classes; even Plant Biology, Food Science, and Pre Calc. I'm glad to put the semester behind me, but am not looking forward to what I have on my plate for next year.
I wasn't quite ready to go home Friday so I spent the weekend with Katie. I learned so much about cows and dairy work! I had a blast. Despite the cold and waking up before 7 every morning, it really was like being on vacation. I went to my first Methodist service, found out how amazing Carhartts are, bottle fed a baby calf, hung out with Katie's family, and got to enjoy the beauty of Morgan County. I really missed the cows once I left. Cows are fun.
And now for some highlights from this semester... because some of them are worth remembering. Alyssa was a great roommate :) we had so much fun wasting time, watching tv, staying up late, and enjoying college. From going to football games to saving her plant from mealy bugs, I wouldn't trade her for anyone.
Joining Sigma Alpha was one of the best things I did. It really expanded my "friend group" and I love all of the girls I pledged with. I also wouldn't trade Sigma Alpha for anything. It feels good to belong to something so amazing.
Georgia Football was 100 times better than I ever would have imagined. I was lucky enough to go to every home game except one. I'm really going to miss it during the spring. It really was like the 4th of July every weekend. Sure there was a lot of drunkenness... but that was half the fun. The Blackout was AWESOME. One of the best games ever. I'm so glad I was lucky enough to experience it. I only wish we were playing in the National Championships... maybe next year ;]
Being 19 hasn't hit me yet. I don't feel like I had a birthday is the problem. It makes me feel old so I pretend I'm still 18. It's not like I gained any special privileges from being 19 anyway.
It was a bit disappointing getting here and realizing that nothing could compare to how magical GHP was, but there were some moments that were close enough. Doing laundry of course was one of them. Going to a strings recital and Mr. Freshman were definitely comparable. I loved getting to hang out with Katie all the time. Tate theater was a close resemblance. And visiting Demostheneon hall was unforgettable. The food was MUCH better as was the freedom. And I wouldn't trade our RA, Mary Catherine, for anyone.
I even got to experience some of the Athens night life. It was really cool getting to see Patrick play, and I can't wait to see him again. I had the chance to "find" new artists like Allison Weiss and Modern Skirt. Downtown Athens at night is always an interesting experience even if you just go for coffee. I mean downtown during the day is interesting enough lol.
I got a job with Mr. Marable that seems to be working out alright. I mean... I actually enjoy working :O. Hopefully this way I can get my American Degree and keep money in my bank account.
I'm really enjoying the Catholic Center.... almost more than Transfig :X I enjoy being a lector almost too much haha. The Holiday party was great and I can't wait to do more stuff with CSA. I really want to start going to TNT.
I'm glad I was still able to keep in touch with people and see them every once and awhile when I came home. Taking a road trip to Young Harris was SO much fun, but nowhere near as crazy as my adventure to Marietta Square.Thanks to Emily,Clayton, Chris, and Kristen who came to visit :D I can't wait to see everyone at Lindsey's party.
I made a lot of great friends that I'm going to miss over the break: Whitney, Libby, Gena, Mark, Sarah, Grace and Anna. It makes it hard really because then you have people at home AND at college to miss. You all have opened me up to new things and share a lot of awesome memories with me. I'm so glad I met you guys!
I'm excited about everyone thats coming up next year. Then my life will practically be complete lol. Congrats to everyone who got accepted early to UGA and good luck to those who are still trying; don't give up! It's worth it, I promise.
Everyday was a new adventure and I can't wait to see what surprises await for me next semester. I just have to be patient and not get frustrated when things aren't going right :P